Hello friends, the first couple of posts have been very sports-heavy, so I'm going to ditch that theme and take some time to digest some holiday cheer by writing some random ramblings of stuff I've been thinking, none of which (yet) really deserve a full blog.
You should never play Mario Kart around children... you will curse. Seriously, I've never said "freaking" so many times in my life ("Uncle Jim, why did you say "freaking Yoshi or freaking turtle shell? What does that mean?"). Now I totally understand my Dad repeatedly yelling "shhhhhhhh... ugar" while playing Tetris when I was a kid.
Best Christmas gifts I got this year (in no particular order): Schumin Web T-Shirt, Lizard bobble head, Time away from the office, Ginsu Knife Set, some really good cookies (the peanut butter ones with the Hersey Kisses were really good), a series of stunningly awesome meals, Star Wars Ecko Hoody (admittedly I picked this out for myself), Emporio Armani Diamonds cologne and aftershave, and about 15 issues of ROM: Spaceknight. Don't worry if you don't understand why I like some of those gifts, I'd be kind of horrified if anyone outside of my family did.
I don't understand why I need to have a prescription for my contact lenses. Even more so I don't understand why this prescription has an expiration date so that I need to make a mad dash to 1-800-CONTACTS right before that date. I mean, I have a vision plan so I don't have to pay to see my eye dude, but it reeks of collusion that I HAVE to see an eye dude if I want to be able to buy contacts. Why is it that CVS can sell eye glasses off the shelf with no Rx but can't do the same with my soft lenses? This makes no sense, it's a freaking accessory, not something that can be abused. Think about it, if you had to go to speech therapist and get a new prescription every time you wanted to get a new cell phone, that would be insane, right?
Speaking of phone use, I'm aware that I (like, I assume, all Americans between the age of 11 and 40) have become quite adept at text messaging. I do it every single day, usually dozens of times, and there have been days where I did it more or less all-day non-stop. I use T9 and I can bang out a message on my phone almost as quick as I would be able to on my laptop. I'm quicker on my T9 than I could on an iPhone (unless I figure out a 2-thumb system for it). Here's the thing: I realize that as I've grown more adroit at texting I do it almost completely with my right hand. If for some reason I lost the ability to use "The Natural" Butch Reed (that's what I call my right arm and hand) then I'd not only be able to not write or type, but I also couldn't text. I need arm/hand insurance.
Porn DOES impact guys' perceptions of chicks, but not in the way that most chicks think. It's more like the way some girls (and my friend Pete) can get too into romantic comedies... it's all about attitude. I think we've all known that girl that is totally hot, smart, funny and yet single and you wonder why and then you realize it's because she's waiting for this perfect Hollywood moment that might never happen and as such things never work out with totally good guys that just don't bring the magic quite as much as she'd like. With guys (and porn), we don't think that girls are a bunch of vixens/whores, HOWEVER once you're with someone and you're about to get into some action, at that point we might (sometimes) appreciate it if they acted a little more like a porn-starlet and can be disappointed when they're not; every guy is looking for that girl that's a lady in the street and a freak in the bed, even if she may never come. Some girls: much better at this than others, just as I'm sure some guys are much better being romantic than others. I think a compromise is that members of each gender need to spend a minimum of 90 minutes per month watching a Romantic Comedy and a Pornographic film; we can all learn something from this. If you're already doing this, kudos! If not, I can make recommendations: start with "Say Anything" and "Island Fever 2".
I have shirts with the following "names": The Lumberjack, The Bizarro Blue Lumberjack, the Freddy Kreuger, The Gay Cowboy (never worn), The Picnic Tablecloth, The Party Dragon, The Floral and a jacket called The Sea Captain. All of them are pretty much exactly what you'd expect from the names. I purchased most of these for myself, completely aware of what they look like. I like most of them. Then again, I once went over a year naming nearly every poop I had (the way an artist might title an abstract painting) and still do for particularly monumental pieces of work (I may create a separate blog for this at some point).
"Rocky IV" is the greatest sports movie and it's not particularly close. I love "The Natural", "Pride of the Yankees", "Major League", "Major League II", "Vision Quest", "Remember the Titans", "Victory", and "BASEketball" as much as anyone... but this isn't even an argument, right? I mean, there's no-one on planet Earth that would argue "The Rookie" (a totally fine movie btw) is better than "Rocky IV", right? I'm not saying this happened to me or anything, I'm just saying. Also, why is it that Boxing and Baseball seem to make the best movies? There are some fine golf and football movies, but nothing transcendent, and basketball and hockey don't have any movies I'd call anything better than solid (yes, I've seen "Hoosiers" and I stand by my statement). I may be forgetting something here, let me know if I am.
Olivia Munn might be my dreamgirl, but I also get the impression that if we met in real life there's no way I wouldn't hate her after about an hour. This makes me wonder if more people hate me than I think do because I (like my construction of Olivia) need to always (or at least usually) try to be "on". I'm really insecure about my overreaction to my own insecurity.
My schedule should be clearing up quite a bit in mid to late February (I hope) and I shouldn't have to spend such crazy hours at the office. I've kind of grown used to working 50-60 hour weeks, and I've decided that if I go back to the 40-50 hour workweek world, I'd like to use those other 10 hours productively and I'd welcome any input on how to do that. #1 is going to be exercising more, #2 is playing videogames again (with a Wii it's like exercise-light, so that's a double whammy), and I think #3 is going to be volunteering again. I was considering going back to the ASPCA, but as much as I love animals (and I really love animals) I really think that this time I should help people. I'm thinking the homeless, underprivileged children/adolescents/teenagers, and the elderly (in that order) are the people I want to help... I'd love to volunteer with sick kids, but I just don't think I can. I also think I might volunteer with something with the arts; if I have enough time and am willing to put in 5+ hours of volunteer work a week I can probably do more than one thing and that's the kind of overextension you can feel good about.
Is it just me or is there no good awards season movies this year? It seems like "Milk" is the only one that seems like a sure-thing to pull down nominations, maybe "Doubt" and that new Kate Winslet movie too but that's about it. Is it possible that a bunch of old men actually might consider giving some more prestigious nominations to some films from the greatest summer popcorn season of all time in "The Dark Knight" and "Iron Man"? That would be pretty BA if they did that (and I totally think they should).
One quick sports thought: I know that Football playoffs are starting soon and my attention should really be on the Giants, but I have to say that I've been more obsessed with baseball than ever. I've been reading the ENTIRETY of FireJoeMorgan since they signed off (a sad day for the blogosphere) and it's been getting me absolutely wet for pitchers and catchers to report, getting down on some March Madness (something I consider part of baseball-preparation due to it's timing), and the season starting again. I'll (probably) offer my full thoughts on the hot stove and particularly the Yankees at some later date. I can tell you right now that the team is not constituted QUITE how I would like it to be, but the Yanks look pretty lethal, and there's still time for Manny, Donkey, Sheets, and/or Fuentes to join the fray, in addition to some more minor guys and possibly/probably Pettite (a name I'm pretty sure I've never spelled correctly once).
OK peeps, if you want to start your shopping from next year I could use a waffle iron, a raspberry beret, and every season of "21 Jump Street" on DVD/Blueray. Don't feel shy about leaving a comment. It will warm my heart, and I know people are reading (Google Analytics and my Haitian Voodoo Priest both give me regular reports) but I need comments to feel validated the same way a puppy needs to be pet every time it does something cute that doesn't involve pooping. Anyway, until next week (ish): Stay Classy.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment